Let’s face it, we’re human and NEED humans in our day to day life.

I am no stranger to loneliness. For a while, I was much too acquainted and comfortable with the idea of being lonely. It was easier to cry at night thinking of the connections I didn’t have, feeling sorry for myself and all my sorrow than it was to call a friend to hang out.

Growing up, I was good at keeping myself guarded, never letting anyone in. Protecting my heart from heartache. Between moving from town to town all the time to feeling embarrassed of my family dynamics, it was just easier not to have to explain the mess.

This guarded mindset became my mantra. I was “fine” with having my sister and my husband as my go to relationships. For a long 6 years, I battled depression as we fought for our children’s (and other children’s) safety from a sick family member and their enablers’ with their insane ideas of what’s appropriate. This was not something I wanted to unload onto anyone. I always thought of sadness from Inside Out and how she brought everyone down. I didn’t want to be that person. I tried here and there to open up to other women, but I was untrusting and quick to cancel plans so I could stay home. Im sure you can imagine how frustrating that would be for the other person. Any adult relationships became fleeting, and I was left all alone again.

But it sucked being alone. My sister and husband just couldn’t relate to my mommy thoughts. I craved companions that understood me and what I was going through. I bounced from relationship or group to another, still finding myself holding back. What was I doing? What was I not doing?

Three kids in and 6 years later, I think I finally get it. Women need and want companionship filled with laughter, trust, intentional presence, and dependability. To find these relationships, you have to create them by being that person who is dependable, trustworthy, and present.

COVID put the mission in my heart to bring the women in the neighborhood together in time when the community was angry, fearful, and….yep, LONELY!

I decided to take a risk and start a monthly ladies gathering. After 5 years in our community, I didn’t have any relationships with the women I lived next to. My kids didn’t have neighborhood buddies. We were living on a suburbia island. There were a few friendships I did my best to tend to simmered away, and we grew a part. Again, probably because I wasn’t willing to let anyone in or actually put my troubles down to be there for someone else.

I took a breath in and sent the requests. To my surprise, over 20 women attended that first event, and for almost two years running, we have continued to meet up, go out, celebrate one another, and support each other. The only two major expectations are to bring a wine or an app and leave your judgments at the door.

I am in awe of the connections made. The ever flow of acceptance. It is understood that not everybody will be besties but we will find that person who gets us. We all get that outlet away from the house gathering in a positive environment. I found the women I could trust and am willing to show the real me and my colorful story. I put my needs to the side and found room in my heart to hear their needs and support them.

The lesson is yes, we need humans in our lives to be happy. That connection required us to let people in, requiring us to be the shoulder to lean on equally as to open up and be the one to cry those tears. Sending that text or invite is welcomed more than you realize. You are worth the love and attention from your peers.