Well, it’s November…officially the month of planning Christmas. Ha! Never mind taking time to give thanks and show gratitude, there’s no time for that! Christmas is around the corner! Seriously, we have parties to plan, shows to attend, dinners to make and money to spend…wait no… a stress load of money to spend.

For us, the holiday dread actually started the beginning of October from separate sides of family and I was not a fan. I just wanted to enjoy Halloween and have a little peace of mind before the cra cra craziness emerged from every nook and crany. But why? Why do we stress ourselves out over Christmas? Ever year it’s the same ol same ol…

Today I want to share with you a few of my tips on how to create a Christmas you will actually want to remember next year!

Let’s back it up just a second with one simple question: Why do you celebrate Christmas?

No, really! Why do you celebrate Christmas. Most people start with their christian beliefs but their actions don’t exactly reflect their words. I am not going to lecture on religious philosophies and beliefs, that is not my place or reason for this post. This post is to help bring clarity and peace of mind to a very loving and special time of year. The depression, marital strain and family drama runs wild with our good ol’ friend credit card debt or it’s cousin money woes this time of year, leaving the first of the new year heavy and filled with resentment. Uh, No Thank You!

With that in mind, I would like you to take a moment and reflect on the last few Christmas celebrations you have had. What were they like, what do you remember, what was important? etc. Are you happy with how it went down? Would you do it all over again? Honestly, the last few years for me have been a drag but I wasn’t exactly taking action to make it better. Mostly just reactive and filled with complaints…my husband’s favorite pastime with me…right!?!. I’m pretty sure when I start complaining he hears “woh,woh,woh…woh,woh” like in Charlie Brown when the adults talk. Ha! My poor husband! He is such a trooper!

This year we have been taking steps to be more intentional with each other, our family, money and planning. It’s amazing what behaviors we had created over time that were hurting us financially and emotionally (honestly these behaviors seemed completely innocent too but here we are). Recently a wonderful woman came to my Mops group to share her insight and wisdom with Christmas. I was inspired and took home, morphed to work with my family and jumped into action with my honey!

This is what we came up with! Please do this with your spouse and be open minded! Make it fun and stay calm! The goal is to create a “Not Sucky” Christmas 😉

  1. Write down Why you celebrate Christmas. Make sure you both are on the same page or can meet in the middle to hit both needs. It’s more common than not that couples grew up with completely different experiences with traditions like Christmas. The goal in mind is to channel you to creating your own as a family.
  2. Discuss what you remember about the last few Christmases. What did you like or dislike? What do you remember from when you were a child…again what did you like or dislike from those memories?
  3. What do you want to remember a year from now about the upcoming Christmas?
    1. List the absolute activities/events you want to take part in
    2. List the would be fun but not a priority
    3. Discuss old or new traditions you would your family to partake in or the ones you find unnecessary and stressful as you make your list.
    4. Come to an agreement on gifts: How many, who, how much, etc
    5. Try to come up with activities that don’t involve major costs…i.e. building snowmen, making paper decorations, singing carols, etc
  4. Make a budget and stick to it. Considering your absolutes, why you celebrate Christmas and what you remember from previous years. Try to stick with the gift themes: Something you want, need, wear, read or do. And don’t feel like you have to get everything your kids and family ask for. Be reasonable and realistic! Maybe you need to bow out from the company gift exchange this year…hard but at least you aren’t stressed about money! My husband and I both agreed the memories of experiences with family such as driving around and looking at Christmas lights was way cooler than things buying Christmas ornaments! Look online and ask around for the free events taking place in your area. Try to attend the free Santa events instead of paying major $$ on the one shot awkward family photo. Make a list all the activities that don’t involve money: looking at Christmas lights in the neighborhood, watching an old Christmas movie together, decorating your tree, making snow angels, etc. Money is not evil but it can cause problems if it is ignored and/or abused. Most marriages falter because of money stress, don’t let your love for each other fall into the statistic world of fights and separations!
  5. Share your plan with family so they know your priorities and don’t take it personally when you decline an invitation to another holiday party or share your gift expectations! I know there can be a lot of strife between family especially with in-laws. It seems so stereotypical but true! However, if you took a deep breathe and talked to them about your goal in mind, about the feelings you experience when they push for other things I think you would be surprised with the outcome. People don’t know what they don’t know and really do have “good intentions” (they might not be ideal to you but they are in their world). It’s not easy, trust me I know I have done it several time (eek), but it does improve the family gatherings a great deal! That tension between you and your spouse will dissipate and channel to more pressing matters.

My husband and I wrote out our main ideas and have it up on the fridge. We started conversations with the family we wish to include in our memories for the upcoming holidays and have discussed our plan of action for the more challenging conversations we will have to have with other family as well! Here is a little snap shot of discussion and what we came up with. We are still talking budget but know this year about time spent together and not the money spent on items we have been perfectly happy without!

We got to “skim” past the holidays last year between moving into a new house and traveling to Costa Rica…but this year we are home and have some work to do! No skimming by this time, ha!

From our family to yours we wish you a beautiful experience for your Holidays filled with Love, Family and Laughter! You are amazing and can do all things if you work at. That includes happy family memories!