I used to give myself the excuse that I wasn’t meant for success because I didn’t know what it was….I used to tell myself that I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t feel like I could be successful. I was always the”live by the seat of your pants kind of girl” never serious, never planning just doing and reacting to life. I used my childhood as a reason to stay behind the scenes and not speak up. Seriously, I used to feel like I didn’t have a voice and that I didn’t matter. I felt like the bad acts that I experienced were my fault…I was pathetic. My self-talk was so ugly! Though people would tell me how pretty or funny I was I didn’t believe them. All I could hear were the thoughts in my head screaming “You’ll never be good enough”…

I don’t know if you relate at any level to what I am sharing, but I do know that in one way or another I am not alone. There are so many women that are told they are nothing, that they are ugly or not smart from someone important in their life and hold on to that. I know there are several women that have been disrespected in the worse manner and feel trapped in that moment. These toxic experiences and thoughts are infectious…they bleed through your life and fog your thinking…because you were never shown a way out. You were never shown a light that leads you to feeling good about yourself and your greatness! Yes, greatness!

It’s a weird word….greatness…but a valid word!

All my life I battled those thoughts but every time something serious would happen (and it seemed to always happen often) it would pull me back. I would relive every disgusting moment and feeling I had and regress to those beliefs. Sound familiar?

Meeting my husband almost 15 years ago was the beginning of my growing journey. He did not have those beliefs but he had the belief that there was/is good in me. No, greatness! Yes, he saw something in me and knew I could be great! He was the beginning of my growing journey! He introduced me into a life that was absent of lies and deceit. He showed me there can family gatherings without hostility and guilt. These introductions opened my heart to believe there could be a way….

Now, I will tell you this has been a long journey. I didn’t change over night after meeting him! I still found myself with self-doubt and making poor decisions. Seriously, it’s not rainbows and flowers to grow and change over night! We actually were introduced to personal development about 11 years ago. The concept of reading to change your mind set. Ha! I first thought it was hoaky plus I wasn’t a reader! Nope, reading wasn’t fun and I didn’t read. That was something my sister did…(how I made it through high school and college I don’t know….but I did,lol!)

So there you have it! We started reading about discipline, mind sets, success, being positive, etc. It was like chanting in the forest at first, I didn’t go all in. I did the reading (very slowly) but knew I wasn’t a believer (yet).

Adam and I started talking about positive habits, we started committing to daily disciplines that I thought were lame when I was younger. It was strange….but then, not so strange. And then I met Jeff Olsen, the author of The Slight Edge, and many other incredible men and women. That’s when the idea of success started to blossom. I thought that maybe I could have a chance! So I kept reading and will always read to the day I die! From the reading I have learned new skills on how to work with people. I learned how to discipline my days so that I could make a difference in my own life and inspire others! I learned about finances and business! The more I learned the more I believed that I could be a success! Last year I decided to see a counselor. Not to wallow in my pain and guilt, but to learn tools in how to handle challenges. How to use my voice and believe in myself! It showed me a whole new way to value myself and how to walk that path! I am amazed at the differences in how I respond to difficulty and challenging people! I took risks to live a life only people dream of and am making it a reality!

Today, almost 11 years later, from the beginning of that journey I will tell you I am stronger, happier and YES A Beautiful person, A Successful Person! I see my history as lessons and inspiration that I can share with others to show them that they too can have success and be happy! I use my choices as lessons to improve my self worth and belief in myself! I am successful! I succeeded in finding my purpose and driving it to the masses with my passions and love for life! I didn’t come from success but rather I created it! I am teaching it to my daughters, to my mother and sister, my friends and family! I am shouting at the top of my lungs…sharing this valuable lesson!

You can too, you know! You can be, do and have anything your heart desires! You Can BE Successful!

If it took you 11 years would it be worth it?

(It was and is to me!)