Adam and I spent many years trying to figure out our budgeting system and make due with our level income with the big goals and dreams we want to accomplish but never quite felt like we were rocking it. Let’s say it has felt like one of those marathons with all of the extra challenges with bicycle races, boat rides, hiking and treading mud. Almost like a Tough Mudder kind of journey but 15 years long. I will take on a tough mudder challenge any day over this financial race.

I don’t know about you but my history and experience with finances was unhealthy and based completely on whim and survival. When a single mother is trying to raise her daughters, work full time and escape damaging relationships with the men her life it makes complete sense to me. In plain terms it flat out sucked but I will say there was value in learning grit and determination. This survival mode is necessary and quite amazing to see into play but the trick is getting past the survival mode into thriving mode.

It’s funny because my older sister always seemed to have it figured out with dependable careers, saving her money, paying bills, interest rates and such. I admire her knowledge and responsibility she has always demonstrated over the years. I, historically, have been more reactive and unaware of what to do with my money besides “make money to spend money”. I would say my past philosophies with money were fleeting and defeating. I wouldn’t track the money I spent, I would just spend it. I would do a “slight” calculation in my head and find ways to justify what I was spending and of course my calculations were more optimistic than realistic. This process led me to overdraft fees and no money to put into savings. I distinctly feeling stressed and ignorant when Adam and I had conversations about our finances. This lead to feeling embarrassed and frustrated so I left the conversation prematurely with no plan to improve, angry and embarrassed. My heart and gratitude goes to my husband for his patience and loving heart, not giving up on me or our dreams.

Now, it definitely makes it easier to budget when you are actually making money and there have been a few years, during our early entrepreneurial days, where we didn’t make much at all. I distinctly remember talking about the frustrations I felt seeing all the life advances our friends were making while we were still trying to make ends meat! I know, I know…comparison is the thief of joy and I regretfully lived in the world of comparison too long. I now know and understand this comparison is unfair and misleading. Even your closest of friends have something “extra” to their story that influence their financial footprint. Finally, after years of growth and personal development, I see this and feel it. I don’t just know it I understand it.

Side note: did you know in Spanish language there are two different ways to say “I know”? Yep, there is the act of knowing facts and information and then there is the act of being familiar and knowing something well. This right here is exactly what I needed and have come to accomplish…the familiarity and understanding, not just the facts.

Over the past 15 years Adam and I read a variety of books related to personal growth, goal setting, confidence and habits. Honestly, the list goes on and on, however, I realized I wasn’t reading books about finances for women by women. I was tired of the same conversation with Adam, over and over revisiting why we are struggling and why we can’t stick to the budget. I was over it! Around 2020 I finally started listening to financial audiobooks for women. I listened to books like “Money Honey” by Rachel Richards, “Clever girl Finance” by Bola Sokunbi (a favorite for sure) and “The Great Money Reset” by Jill Schlesinger. I realized several books covered topics I was interested in but had a lot of simple philosphies we already knew and I was skipping over those part. I started to explore podcasts such as “Women & Money” by Suze Orman picking and choosing topics I wanted to learn more about.

Listening to these books, talking more freely about money (without feeling embarrassed or cliche) with Adam and close friends I could feel my money confidence growing. I feel more like an adult, which may sound trivial but there are definitely times where I feel inexperienced when the other adults around me talk about their retirement, investments or future financial plans. Several topics I felt my eyes glaze over and a sensation of “less than though” when someone discussed topics relating to their retirement or investments and trust funds. Whenever there was talk about taxes and interests rates I would mimic what Adam told me but in all out honesty didn’t really understand.

With a 9% increase in my teacher salary starting this month I decided it was time for me to put on my big girl panties and start learning more about money and how it works in today’s business world. The basic calculations of interest rates, stocks and investments. I want to understand more about taxes and where to allocate my money where it will grow for us the best. I want to pay off debt and plan for the future and not feel guilty when we have to spread payments out for paying simple costs like material fees for school, activities for the kids and minor medical bills. It shouldn’t feel like spending a $1000 could break us. Not at this age!

The first step I take pride in is simple but feels really good! Adam and I were using Mint to monitor and budget our money, but when I say “we” I really mean…”he”. I didn’t log in much and honestly still kept calculating in my head where money was going as I made Amazon purchases. Oops! You know exactly what that meant! Mint at the end of 2023 went out of business, or something like that, so Adam researched a handful of options for us to choose from to manage our budget. Pre-grown up Laura days I would just let Adam decide or skim over and give a recommendation based on no real evidence. I say I don’t gamble but the way I made decisions dealing with money, looking back, definitely was a lot like roulet. But not this time! I actually went into each app and read reviews. I looked enough to give two options I felt good about and together we narrowed it down to the program Monarch! This simple step so far has been huge! I’ll share a whole post about the program and why I love it!

The next step, after signing up for Monarch I made the decision to sign up for a free course on coursera called “Finances for Non-Finance People” with the goal in mind to understand the basic financial concepts of growing retirement, investing and saving! As I learn the basics I will share what I learn because there are not enough books and information out there for women to help us understand these concepts! If I learn to empower others I know I will follow through! I know I will set the time aside and share out. It is the teacher and lover of people in me!

What do you want to learn more about in the financial world? What do you struggle with when budgeting or financing?