This last month has been one of the most challenging times of our 14 years together after Adam tore his meniscus playing football. At the end of the night I have found myself looking at the dishes in the sink thinking “Ugh, tomorrow…We’ll get them tomorrow…” and drag myself up to bed. I walk up the stairs and notice other little annoyances here and there that I normally have to fix right away but take a deep breathe and keep walking up the stairs. I wiggle my way around laundry baskets to get ready for bed and plop my bones into bed and close my eyes…wandering what time the girls will wake me up this time…
The two of us literally share the house responsibilities, equally taking care of the girls (like it should be in my personal opinion) and our pets. In doing this it has allowed us to both participate in multiple athletics and programs together or separate, to stay involved and challenge ourselves while having quality time to spend together as a family . Since Adam’s injury things have turned a different page. Adam went through surgery to have the meniscus repaired (which is AWESOME!) instead of cutting it off or other major procedures. This is wonderful but challenging at the same time because this also means he has to wear a knee brace, he can’t walk on it and has to use crutches. While healing he is in a lot of pain and has to rest his leg and the rest of his body. Our partnership has shifted with responsibilities temporarily and I feel it!
Working full time, caring for two toddlers, two dogs and an injured husband can have its affects on eating habits, sleep, a clean house and working out. I have found myself feeling run down and did actually get sick for a short period of time (the same week both girls got sick and Adam had his surgery). This month has been hard and wishing for break has crossed my mind a few times admittedly. But after feeling like a negative Nancy the first couple of weeks a new thought had crossed my mind “You can’t do it all, all the time” or the concept of living your day to day making sure you do your best kept creeping into my mind. Your best is the best you can do, some days it will vary from others but at least you can say “Hey, I did my best and that’s what matters!” I had to let some things go temporarily so I can make dinner and put the girls to bed each night and that’s okay. I first felt sad and then angry but then I realized that sometimes life challenges you in new ways to grow in areas of life that you need to grow in.
For me, I am growing in my nurturing state. I wouldn’t consider myself the most nurturing person but part of that is because I never really learned how to be nurturing. I never learned how to validate others emotions, pain or experiences. I would just go blank. So there you have it I am letting go of my “what about me and what I want” to replace with “How can I do more? How can I help you feel better?” being physically and mentally present for my family that just needs an extra hug or kiss during this difficult time.
We all have difficult obstacles to overcome. We all have our own stories of how we are growing and shifting our priorities to take care of what matters most. Right now my “clean” house probably isn’t fit for hosting a party or inviting guests over but my house is clean enough so I can get on the floor and play with my baby girls and give them love when they need it most. My sink might have dishes in it from the latest meal but that time is being used to sit next to my husband in pain that needs to feel important and loved by his wife. Not being able to help and do his normal day to day activities isn’t just hard for me and the girls but its hard on him and his confidence. I am hugging him and helping him the best I can, that is my best.
I don’t know what your obstacles are right now, but I do understand that it is hard. I understand you are tired or hurt. It’s going to be okay! I promise! Find that one thing, like the dishes in the sink, and let it go for just a moment so you can take care of you, your family and what ever it is that needs your attention right now! Once the challenges have passed pick back up where you left off and keep being you and living your life to its fullest!
You are going to be okay!
